Indian Staircase, oh what an adventure to climb this one has been. Four separate attempts, three dismal failures, and the final one, success. In January of 2016, I visited the Red River Gorge for the first time with my fab five. Driving through the Nada Tunnel was a fantastic experience, but I had no clue the beauty that lies just beyond that narrow path through the mountain. The bluffs were dynamic, beautiful, and overwhelming. The road through the RRG is narrow and winding, in some places making seemingly 90 degree turns with sketchy shoulders that could lead to a painful landing, if not, an untimely death. The beautiful views of the bluffs had me hooked from the first look.

Indian Staircase started like all my other hikes. While researching the area, I found an unofficial trail that promised a challenging and almost impossible scramble to the top. Ethan, my oldest son, and I went by ourselves for a weekend of hiking, promising one another that we would climb that staircase and take in the views many others had described from the summit. It didn’t exactly go as planned. As a matter of fact, it didn’t go at all. We made it to the first scramble thinking, “it can’t be that bad,” quickly changed our minds, and retreated to safety without seeing the beginning of the second scramble. We would try again when he was a bit older I told him. That promise, I would keep.

Our second attempt, we brought along Katy, boasting on our way there of our all but sure success at hiking up the sandstone bluff. It was winter, 2017, and the views were terrific while the trees were still naked from shedding their leaves the fall before. We pulled ourselves to the first scramble, Katy and I both doubting our ability to climb back down, but I made it up half of the second scramble. I lost my footing and slid about 5 feet backward, shattering all my confidence and will to continue in the blunder. Turning back toward Katy and Ethan, I surrendered, telling them there was “no way in hell I could go any further.” I turned around in a “crab crawl” position and sheepishly made my way back to the base of the trail. Katy and Ethan followed. All of us were laughing. We drove four hours to do this hike, and we gave up before it even began. But we would be back.

The third attempt, and the worst for me, Ethan and I took another summer hiking trip to the RRG. Our one goal: to climb the infamous staircase and FINALLY bask in the glory of our summit. Ethan did very well climbing the scrambles before me. He made it to the top of the second scramble, and as I made my way to where he waited, my body shook in fear. I glanced up at the third and final scramble; tears stung my eyes. I was defeated. I knew there was no way I could go any further. Ethan climbed like a champ to the summit.

“Mom, don’t think, just climb. You’ve got this,” he yelled from the top.

No, I didn’t. I could not push past the fear; I could not move in that moment. I didn’t speak. I looked down at the ledge I was on, scared to blink my eyes for fear that I would tumble off the side of the dangerous cliff.

“I can’t do this, Ethan."

Not a word from behind me, but I felt him as he had made his way back down to where I was sitting. His hand on my shoulder, he said, “we can go down, Mom.”

Again, I turned into a crab and lowered myself down the footholds in the sandstone to the base of the trail. Once again, I had failed. Only this time, I had let my child down, too. He had become braver than me; he had succeeded. But I couldn’t bring myself to face it again. We walked back to the car in silence. I didn’t have any words of encouragement for giving up.

March 2019, we went back for a fourth and final try. I was determined to make it to the top. If I didn’t make it this time, I would concede the victory to the mountain I could not climb, and I would not be back. Monique, another good friend of mine, joined Ethan and me on this journey. We started the trail at 8 AM, and by 9 AM, we were making the turn up the unofficial trail to the base that had haunted me for three long years. I prayed, I bargained, I meditated, I was losing confidence by the second. We scrambled up the ravine leading to the first of the sandstone bluffs on our way to Indian Staircase. My palms were sweaty, my hands had started shaking, and my stomach was in knots. We didn't talk of failure; we didn’t talk much at all. The first scramble, I made it up with ease. The second, a little less steady; I knew right where we were heading. Was it as scary as I remembered? We walked along the edge of the cliff to the beginning of the third scramble. I needed a moment. I couldn’t breathe. No way could I do this. But I hadn’t told them that just yet.

Ethan, giving me advice, “don’t look down, concentrate on your steps, just keep moving forward,” I only heard half of what he said.

He stood strong at my side, convinced this would be the day we could boast of our success. His voice was calming, his movements deliberate. He had seen my weakness here; he knew how easy it would be for me to back down.

Monique took in the views around us. The gorge was forever below where we stood, and she was in awe of its beauty. I couldn’t concentrate on any of it. I just needed another minute. I posted the challenge before me on Instagram hoping that making my intentions public would increase my drive to succeed.

The moment was here, and I was the first to climb. I struggled to get a footing on the first bouldering move of the scramble. I had to stretch my legs to reach the second level to the base of the third scramble. Here is where I lost it. One maneuver, my foot placed in the first foothold, my foot shifting ever so slightly, and my heart started racing, and my breathing increased. I was panicking.

“I can’t do this!”

“Yes, you can! Ethan go behind her, don’t let her come down,” from Monique.

Ethan, “don’t give up here!”

Convinced my son was coming behind me, I couldn’t back down, I couldn’t be the reason he lost his footing because of my fear. I took the next big step to the steep incline. With footholds straddling each side, I placed my feet in these holds and pushed myself forward. Halfway through the third scramble, I blocked all fear and took off. I leaned forward and trusted the tread of my Keen hikers, deliberately keeping each step inside the small holes carved in the sandstone.

I grabbed for the last hold, pulled myself onto the flat edge, and only then did I realize, I DID IT! Terrified, I had made my way to the top of the damn staircase after failing three prior attempts. I turned to watch Monique and Ethan come up with ease, neither faltering as they scrambled. I was one proud friend and even happier for my son who had set in the same spot before climbing back down on our previous attempt. He gave it all he had, not once questioning his ability to face his fear.

Four times, I stood with the same person on those cliff edges. Three of those times, I had dictated our failure by surrendering to the fear. Once, I had made my son give up his glory for my own phobia. But here, on our fourth try, the two of us stood together at the top of the staircase beaming with pride — a very small climb for so many, a huge victory for the two of us. I had multiple opportunities to return to the gorge in between these attempts, and I turned them down. I wasn’t conquering that demon if Ethan could not be there. We had started this trail together, and we would finish together. We had said, “if either of us didn’t reach the summit, neither of us wins.” But Ethan, you did; you won twice. You surrendered your victory for me once, and I will always remember and cherish your selflessness that day. I thank you for sticking through it with me. You, my son, are my hero.

Tips for Hiking Indian Staircase:

1. Carry plenty of water, this can be a fairly short hike or you can choose to loop it with Cloud Splitter making it for a half-day hike. Either way, water is essential. 1-2 liters per person should be plenty.

2. Be prepared for the steep cliff edges and sheer drop offs.

3. Indian Staircase is an unmarked trail in the Red River Gorge. If you are going, be sure to carry an accurate map, a topographic map is best, and a compass.

4. Do not bring animals on this trail. I have seen people carry their medium breed dogs up the staircase, and it doesn’t create a hazard for the owner alone, but all other climbers on the trail. Leave the pooch at home if this one is on your agenda.

5. Be courteous of other hikers. Some will climb with ease while others may be slow and deliberate. Don’t be impatient with those who are slower, and if possible, move out of the way of those that are moving faster.

6. I cannot stress sturdy shoes enough on this trail. Again, I have seen some climb in slick soled shoes, which creates a danger for them and for those climbing behind them. Always ensure the tread on your shoes can handle the terrain you are traversing.

7. Bring snacks for the top. The views from the top of Indian Staircase are one of the best in the gorge.